A reader asks:

I know a stripper (dancer) who tithes. No one confronts her about her lifestyle and I hear that the "wealth of the wicked are meant for the righteous". 

This doesn't sit well with me, but I can't really define why. What do you think?

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We have two issues here... let's start with the "wealth of the wicked." This is a teaching of the "prosperity teachers" in Christianity who basically jerk any verse in the Bible out of context to promote their carnal and materialistic Gospel.

Proverbs 13:22 (NKJV) A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.

Far from being a promise that you can pray to have the wealth of the wicked coming flowing into your pockets, this verse is a spiritual principle that can be summed up as:

"A good man, working hard and honestly, living a Godly life, will build up an inheritance that his offspring will enjoy. However, the wicked are not similarly blessed because they ignore God and in principle, their wealth will be squandered and eventually end up in the 'good man's' hands."

Not because the good man can "pray it in" or "send angels to gather it" (as is taught today) but simply because it is a generally true principle that following God and working hard will result in accumulating wealth to use as God directs... but being evil or lazy will cause you to lose whatever you do have.

Another application is that the wicked do NOT control or own the money, even thought they think they do. All money belongs to God, and He will use to accomplish His will no matter whose human hands it is currently in. Mature Christians of course already understand that they are simply stewards, not owners, of God's blessings.

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This whole “prosperity” teaching (that the wealth of the wicked come to the righteous) is fleshly and saps true spiritual growth. It has no place in the life of mature Christians. Christians should never want, long for, or accept what the wicked does, even giving money, if that sin has not been confronted and responded to with repentance and obedience.

Which brings us to the tithing stripper....

God views the religious activity of wanton, unrepentant sinners as a useless, insulting abomination.

God doesn’t need our money, He wants our repentance, obedience and holiness. If the tithing stripper is genuinely headed towards God, and just still has a lot of transforming to do (new Christian, immature Christian), then God honors the sincere heart and will keep that person faithfully on the right path as they change.

However, if the tithing stripper is simply doing something religious to make themselves feel better about God, or earn God's favor, that is an abomination.

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I had a choice last night to watch America’s Favorite Pastor or South Park… I decided South Park was both deeper, and more Biblical.

I jest of course (South Park is not MORE Biblical), but I did sit and stomach about 15 minutes of the Sugar Man with the honest intention of giving him a chance to show something substantive as the Pastor of one of the largest churches in the world.

Personal happiness, success stories, self improvement, positive thinking pop psychology… all of it mixed with a VERY rare, and VERY out-of-context-incorrectly-exposited Bible verse. I don’t even know why they call it a “church”. He should just do what he does, but do it on a week night or Friday evening and call himself a “motivational, self-help” guru. Given that, he would just be a good speaker, inspiring people to reach higher and do better. The pop psychology would still be intellectual junk food, but at least it wouldn’t be presented as Bible teaching from a Pastor. Here’s some phrases from the past five minutes:

• Negative thinking cast away
• Your destiny
• Your best days are ahead
• You can do it
• Success and victory
• Faith food and positive thoughts
• Get rid of your “can’t do’s” and your “not able’s”
• New doors opened for your life
• High levels of victory
• A new level of thinking

Those were all phrases used over and over, mixed into anecdotes and cutesy analogies delivered with a sugar sweet smile, soothing tones and warm verbal embraces. The Gospel according to Osteen…

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Folks, this type of “Bible teaching” (a description used only with my nose pinched closed because it was supposedly a church assembly) is devoid of spiritual nutrition, anemic in truth, absent of depth. It is a like a shot of these new energy drinks: a temporary boost that ends up leaving you sleepy and unsatisified, needing more to get “high” again. It is the dictionary definition of:

Revelation 3:15-16 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

Osteen (and those who preach like him) are like ooey-gooey, warm, buttery, sweet chocolate chip cookies… luscious, inviting, comforting and enticing. In the end, it’s pure JUNK FOOD lacking anything spiritually edifying or eternally nutritious. If you eat enough of this stuff, and you’ll simply throw up. Notice that God would rather see you COLD, than lukewarm which makes Him want to spew.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be part of making God want to spit.

A reader asks:

How do you love someone unconditionally when they are doing or saying things you don't love?

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By choice.

The foundation of real love is choice, not feelings. Feelings follow choice.

Think of a train. Choice is the engine, and feelings are the caboose. The train is powerless without the engine, the caboose always follows the engine. Now, it may be a VERY long train, and perhaps the engine (choice) has gone around the bend or switched tracks to head for a new destination, but the caboose (feelings) may be a while before it turns the same corner.

We have an odd and backwards way about us.

When we first meet someone we like, we have no deep “feelings” for them yet, but we go to great lengths to do everything possible to cultivate and produce those feelings. Choice, then feelings.

However, later in the relationship, we claim that we can NOT make the choice to do those things anymore because we don’t “feel” like it! How absurd. We don’t CHOOSE to do the things we originally did to cultivate the relationship. We could choose to do it, but we don’t because we are now SELF focused, instead of focused on them.

The phrase “love unconditionally” is abused to death today. It doesn’t mean we accept whatever the other person is doing without consequence or reaction. It means that we love the other person through God’s eyes, and that we always act in such a way as to be concerned about the greatest and eternal good of the other person.

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When we love that way, we love unconditionally by choice, not by feeling. We love unconditionally by God’s power. We love unconditionally by sacrifice. We pray for them, serve them and show kindness to them, all while NOT doing things to ENABLE them in their destructive behavior.

You don’t have to be around anyone for very long before they will upset you, annoy you, discourage you and disappoint you. This is MORE because of our own selfishness than their shortcomings. When you add your flaws and selfish to their flaws and selfishness, you are going to get a situation where many unloving things are said and done. That is the curse of sin playing out.

Our CHOICE to love anyway is what anchors us and gets us back on the path of love during those times, and the feelings will follow.

I want to share a great story with you.

My good friend, Rafe, had a terrible accident a few weeks ago where he fell off a ladder and shattered both of his ankles, and instantly disabled himself. Enough people have already asked him why he was up on a ladder carrying holding 150 lb object in his arms, so we won’t give him any grief over that at this point which would just be kicking a guy while he’s down.

In the following weeks, Rafe has endured painful surgeries, been bed-ridden and has had to totally change around his entire life to accommodate the injuries. His beloved wife (who Rafe loves as much as I’ve ever seen any man love a wife) has tirelessly served him, and helped him through this.

Now here’s the cool story I want you to hear. Rafe sent me the following picture, asking me how I liked his new courtroom attire (oh yeah, Rafe is an attorney…):

After being amazed and getting a good laugh over the picture, I responded to Rafe and asked him if the Judge looked surprised when he rolled into the courtroom. Here was Rafe’s reply:

Hi, Brent. I can answer your question about the judge, with an amazing testimony of our great God choosing to dynamically intervene into man's courtroom. Background: My client committed a crime while backslidden and was sentenced.He has since gloriously repented and is a growing man of God six months later.I had filed a motion to modify the sentence to (1) remove the no-contact order with his teenagedaughter, and (2) to change the court-ordered counseling from a godless secular counseling center to my client's pastor. When I rolled into the courtroomlike the picture in my wheelchair, thejudge was sitting on the bench and he immediately looked up and gazed at me, but with a pleasant countenance. After the judge confirmed how to pronounce my name, he said, " Mr. Refior, I understand your situation much more than you might expect. For you see, nine years ago I had a terrible accident and I wheeled into a courtroom in a wheelchair just as you did today."

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After that I carefully explained my motion and argued why it should be granted. Just when it was the time for the prosecutor to argue against my motion, the prosecutor's cell phone went off. The judge's countenance that had been so supportive toward me turned to ice and the judge raised his voice and bristled, "Mr. Smith, I have a sign on the door to my courtroom that says, "Turn Off Your Cell Phone" ! You are in this courtroom almost every day. What is going on here ?!?" The prosecutor was so flustered that rather than just disarm his phone right there he ran out of the courtroom to do so then quickly returned. At which time the judge leaned forward and said to the prosecutor, Mr. Smith, shall I show on the record that these modifications to the sentence are entered by agreement?" To which the prosecutor sheepishly answered, "Yes, your honor."

WOW! God touched that courtroom that day.

Isn’t that a GREAT story! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. If you would like to send Rafe and his wife (Pam) a note of encouragement, I’m sure he would appreciate it (paul@refior.com).

A reader asks:

Am I just old fashioned, or has the dress of women, even at church, become “trampy”?

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Well, I’m showing my age because I know exactly what is meant by “tramp”, and while the word might be old fashioned, the observation about modern female clothing and the body is not.

I’m just going to come right out with my opinion on this. I know I’ll get a lot of adjectives emailed to me like “judgmental” and “legalistic”, but I could care less. If one family, girl or parent reads this and helps someone change the way they look to be more modest and appropriate, then it will be worth it.

Before I make these comments, I realize there will be Christian women who have already done some of these things, regretted them, and now they have to live with it. My comments are not meant to embarrass or pain you further. My comments are in hopes of getting parents to wake up, and hopefully convince some girl to see the light, before embracing these worldly things.

Tattoos

I will not say I’ve never seen a pretty or discreet tattoo. I have. I also know some very Godly ladies who have a tattoo (almost all wish they didn’t now). It’s not my point here to argue whether you should get tattoos or not, but to point out how trashy the tattoo trend has become. Sexual images, sexually suggestive placement, tattoos head to toe… it’s simply ridiculous. The worst of them are the “tramp stamps” that are the tattoos found on the lower back. Often these are vulgar, draw men’s eyes to a women’s behind, and have the reputation of being a sign of something sexually inappropriate.

I’m sorry ladies… if you want to cover yourself in ugly, sexual or exposed tattoos, don’t gripe when a decent guy won’t have anything to do with you, or a potential employer immediately dismisses any possibility of hiring you.

Piercings

While we’re on the subject, the same thing goes for most of the body piercings. Rings and studs on the belly button and breasts are meant to draw the eyes there. Studs in the mouth send out a message that there is a particular sexual activity you enjoy. Holes and scars on your nose, eyebrows, and a row of them on your ears are often ugly and whether you like it or not, immediately bias people against you as they naturally stereotype you.  Yes, I am quite the prude, aren’t I?

Hooker wear

It would seem that after Madonna, Britney and Christina the entire female population decided it was “cute” to dress like a trashy hooker. Low cut pants showing belly buttons and butt cracks, low cut blouses, spaghetti string shirts, ultra short shorts… these use to be what HOOKERS wore. Now it is the proud badge of being fashionable when your breasts are crammed in a bra three sizes too small in a shirt that doesn’t cover them anyway.

Since I haven’t said enough yet to get everyone mad at me, let me also throw this in: Church should be a place where men can go and NOT have to battle keeping their eyes off of tight jeans, form fitting dresses, tight blouses and short skirts. But it’s not.  Yes, there will always be a few women at church who are not saved, not yet taught about modesty, or simply rebellious but that's not what we are seing today.

What we see today is simply the embracing by Christianity of the world's standard of modesty and dress. Yes, we are a LITTLE BETTER than the world, making us feel like we have high standards, but over all, if you didn't know you were at church, you might think you were at the mall or a secular event.

While there are many ladies who still dress modestly, there is a much larger group that dresses NO differently than what you would see walking down the street on any typical day. I have found this to be universally true in almost all churches I have visited. Even the Churches that require dresses and long hair seem to have no requirements about clingy, form fitting dresses that are every bit as alluring as a pair of pants. Overall, even the Church gathering is not a sanctuary from being bombarded with immodesty and sexy clothing.

This is to be expected though, since MODESTY is almost never taught anymore for fear of offending (and losing) members, and concern about being called “legalistic”.

I'm amused when people say "well it sounds like YOU'VE got the problem because you're the one talking about it". The problem is SIN, and we've all got it. Sadly, there seems to be a few off-limits topics today because it will simply offend to many people.

Vocabulary

Like, I know it’s totally awesome to like basically use the same words ten times in a sentence, seriously, but like isn’t it just totally cool to like not have to seriously worry about totally learning a bunch of awesome new words that like would be seriously totally hard to remember? It’s like seriously totally basically like awesome, huh?

“Soft porno” and party pics

MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Girls Gone Wild, spring break, Mardi Gras… there is absolutely no shame any more in getting drunk, lifting your shirt to expose yourself, and then posting the pictures on your “social page” on the Internet. Or funny “gotcha” pictures of girls in their underwear, or pulling someone’s pants down by surprise. Or the vulgar "fun" pics that come out of the typical bachelorette party (it's sad that marriage is flimsy now that the night before its traditional to violate your purity by having one last round of ":fun").  

In high school and college, the in thing now is to take pretend lesbian pictures, kissing or fooling around with other girls to get attention from the guys. My teenagers have told me that even in the high school level, this behavior, and taking pictures of it to pass around on cell phones, is all the rage.  (pictures which can come back to haunt you later)

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Not Christian girls right?  Christian universities have LONG had the reputation of being some of the best party places in town.  It is now common practice for employers and even potential spouses to research someone on the Internet, where their real character is often revealed.  It is not only unGodly to be part of such immorality, it is STUPID and can affect your life for many years to come.

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Judgmental! Puritan! Fanatic! Prude!   (Guilty, guilty, guilty… guilty) I’m sure NONE of these trends has anything to do with rampant sexually transmitted disease, divorce, fornication, illegitimate children and the overt “Jerry Springerization” of America.  I forgot to mention abortion, but since that's only done in the case of rape, incest or health of the mother (25 million times a year), it's irrelevant.

It is a fact that it is normally the women who are the last to descend into immorality and ungodliness in a Christian society on the decline. That the young women of America have become so sexually aggressive, immoral, immodest and out of control is a symptom of how far we have wandered from our Godly roots.

1 Timothy 2:9 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation.... (NKJV)

I wrote a full series on modesty. If you would like to read it, go  here: http://www.seriousfaith.com/dvo/devotionseriesdetail.asp?seriesid=34

Here is a report I wrote on Modesty.

I hope some parents and young girls will read this and their eyes will be opened to the truth about modesty, and see that just because our entire society says something is “cute”… doesn’t make it okay.