It's life-changing and potentially devastating to face the possibility of a child dying. Unlike an accidental death (which is horrible enough), death from disease or injury where you get to sit around and see it coming for week or months, can be particularly cruel.

Given that, it's understandable that people might think I have one face for my readers - strong, full of faith - and then a "real" face in private - sad, worried, fearful. Or maybe somewhere in between. I’ve had readers ask both directly, and “read between the lines” if my wife and I really think all this difficulty is an “opportunity for faith” and something to rejoice about.

Maybe we are "faking it" for the readers, in order to teach others something that we are not personally experiencing, but should be. Maybe I'm writing what I SHOULD write, instead of what I really feel or what is really happening.

At this point, you're probably expecting me to say "Nope! I'm Johnny Rock." Yes, as a teacher and example to others, I emphasize the faith, the trust in God and standing on Scriptural promises. But of course, I have moments of fear, moments of doubt, moments of sadness and moments of confusion. MOMENTS... but those moments are surrounded by, subjecttoand encapsulated by the faith and trust.

It's been said that true courage is brave action despite fear. I would say the same principle applies to faith. Real faith, is the CHOICE to trust God despite circumstances that challenge faith. In light of that, I would say to you:

Nope, not faking.

What you see, is what you get. While I certainly do emphasize the stronger aspects of faith and trust in my writing during these events, it's not insincere or hyped. It's how we truly feel, and genuinely live. People have commented several times, even doctors, that we must be in “shock” and it “just hasn’t hit us yet” because we aren’t emotionally distraught, and all torn up on the outside.

We are fully aware the cancer might kill Abby. We know perfectly well the full extent of her illness. There have been times in private when I can’t think of anything else, and stay on the verge of tears for hours. There have been times when I find myself in the “blue stare” where I’ve been sitting for quite a while, kind of slouched over, staring at the floor, wondering if all this will simply end up with Abby dead. It’s not “negative confession”. It’s REALITY. Those moments are prolonged by all the other “side trials” that have come with the main course.

We are sad. It’s hard to talk about without starting to cry. But overall, we understand that the worse thing that can happen is that Abby will get to go be with Jesus a little sooner than the rest of us. We might be without her for a few years, or a few decades, but then like King David and his son, we will be reunited with her for all eternity.

It is because of our eternal perspective that we can comprehend and accept the VERY worst that is possible for Abby (or anyone for that matter). Knowing that, believing that, understanding that, and anchoring to that, keeps despair and grief at bay. I shed more tears for those families I see in the hospital that obviously have NO hope, NO eternal perspective, NO anchor. They are truly to be pitied as they agonizingly face death without knowledge, hope or understanding of eternity and God’s mercy.

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We are neither casual about life’s hardship, nor despondent. We have talked about, and fully comprehend the seriousness of our daughter’s cancer. We are living in the opportunity of faith that comes with an unexpected 50% cut in pay. We are rejoicing in the current crop of trials that allow us to see God's hand at work. All of it is filtered through the reality of God’s power and an eternal perspective about life.

Nope, no faking here. That's not a boast. Far from it. Unless you consider a boast in Jesus' love, bragging about God's goodness. Far from being a personal boast, it is simply a testimony that we are helpless without God, in good times and bad.

Our hope, the truth, and faith, allows us to face this storm with a tear, and a smile, and joy. It is truly the continued discovery of the “peace that passes all understanding”. The Lord God has never failed us, and has proven His care on countless occasions in our life.

Are we to doubt Him now, and act like He is not with us in this dark hour? God forbid.

I would appreciate your thoughts on "Rejection". One of the young men in prison I visit has a hard time as his mother kicked him out at 12 and his step-father told him how stupid he is, etc. He asked me about it. He is a new believer.

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I'm glad he's a Believer because it makes this much easier. Not "easy" but "easier" than if he was a not saved.

For the unsaved person, the answer is still the same, but it's not likely to make sense or get through because they are blinded spiritually.

Rejection is probably the toughest of all human experience. Rejection by some snotty classmate is hard enough, but rejection by those who we instinctively KNOW are supposed to love us, protect us and accept us is devastating (parents, spouse, friends, family etc).

The world would fill your head with psychobabble about self-esteem and self-love and have you wallow in self pity and victimhood. Not God.

There are five things I want our young Brother to know:

His Savior was Rejected

The Savior of mankind, the Creator of the Universe, the sinless perfect Lamb of God was not only rejected by the religious leaders, He was rejected by His home town, His closest friends and His entire family. Not only rejected, but tortured, killed and mocked.

Our new Brother needs to understand that His Savior knows FULL WELL what rejection feels like and there has never been one moment that Jesus has ever quit caring about any rejection we have ever suffered. Jesus knows rejection, and that is why He awaits with open arms those who have been rejected by this world and sinful people.

As a Christian, You'll Be Rejected by the World

Christians will still experience rejection because of their faith. Family, friends, employers and society will reject us DURING THIS LIFETIME but an entire eternity of heavenly acceptance awaits us for our temporary sacrifice now.

It is important to be honest about this. We should never stoop down to painting a "pie in the sky" and "bed of roses" picture about the Christian life. We will experience insult, taunting, persecution, rejection and even physical harm in this life. But God sees ALL, and our reward for suffering for our faith will be repaid a million times a million times a million in Heaven. Our rejection now is for the sake of Jesus' Message, and because of that we have sympathy for those who reject us instead of anger.

God Will Never Reject You

God will NEVER reject you. You are adopted into His family now and you are His child, and He is your Father. Rejection of His children is not in His vocabulary. You can rest, safe and secure, that rejection from your Father will never happen again.

We Don't Reject You

Your new Christian family does not reject you. We love you, care about you and you are one of us. It does not matter what your background is, it doesn't matter what you've done or who you WERE. You are a Christian now, and we are your family.

Your Rejection Can Now Be Used For Good

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God wants you to take your understanding of REJECTION and use it to have sympathy and love for others who have been rejected. Like cancer survivors who can sympathize with those who have cancer, or the same way parents who have lost a child can comfort others in the same situation, you understand rejection. You can comfort, advise and be an example for others who have experienced painful rejection by family, parents and friends.

To close, I want to encourage those who have been rejected with one more piece of advice: MOVE ON. Don't be a victim. Don't live in the past. The Bible tells us to PRESS ON, FORGET THE PAST and LOOK TO CHRIST (Phil 3:13-14). The world would have you be a victim and attend meetings every week where you talk about how much your life sucks, and how unfortunate you've been. DON'T DO IT!

Your rejection has been nailed to the cross and it is NOT part of your future. MOVE ON! Forgive, forge ahead... don't let the past have power over your future. Jesus was already forgiving those who rejected Him even while He was still hanging on the cross. He is our example, and He will give us the strength to do the same.

A reader asks:

I have been taught and came to believe that going to movies wasn’t a right thing to do, and at one time, very few people in our church (that I knew or knew about) went to movies. Now, as I listen to people talk it seems like a common thing for Christians to go to the movies. Why is this? Are we not supporting the film industry and lifestyles of “Hollywood” when we do this? I realize we can’t stick our heads in the sand, but to openly endorse and support such films (including the ones labeled for children)… has this teaching changed?

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First, there is no “teaching” in the Bible about whether or not we should attend movies, so to dogmatically declare a categorical answer is… categorically wrong.

Like all things of liberty in the Christian life, discernment is called for.

Attending movies that violate our conscience, glorify immorality and sin, or violate clear Biblical principle such as not being entertained by wickedness, is something Christians in general should be much more concerned about given that movie attendance differs little between the Church and the world.

I would go so far as to say the VAST MAJORITY of movies are inappropriate for Christians because of their content, but to say that ALL movies are inherently sinful, is simply going where the Bible doesn’t go… and neither should we.

As for the argument that “it supports the film industry and lifestyles of Hollywood” is also a matter of discernment. Watching TV supports some immoral industries and companies. Going to Walmart or McDonald’s supports the homosexual agenda. Driving almost any car support industries and companies that support a variety of ungodliness from abortion to gambling to alcoholism to the “party” lifestyle.

Wearing most common clothing, even modest clothing, support industries and companies that promote and encourage wanton sexual immorality.

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Many, if not most, of our food products come from companies that support unchristian lifestyles, causes and agendas.

See what I mean? You would have to live out in the woods, grow your own food, raise and eat your own animals, make your clothes and ride horse in order to avoid supporting ungodly companies, industries, agenda and people.

We live in the world God sovereignly chose for you and I to be born into, and it is the world we are to exist in, and be salt and light to. Discernment, discipline, wisdom and the timeless principles of God’s Word give us all we need to answer for ourselves what we should do and not do.

God didn’t make things like this “black and white” because the Christian life is a moment by moment relationship with Christ… not a legalistic checklist of behavior. We should be dogmatic where the Bible is dogmatic (ie. Don’t get drunk, don’t commit adultery, don’t lie, etc) and use our Spirit-filled mind and heart to develop our convictions of liberty and constraint.

A reader asks:

Where did the phrase "and this too shall pass..." come from? I always thought it was in the Bible, is it?

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It’s funny that you ask that. I’m writing a series called “Ten Lessons I’ve Learned That Will Change Your Life”. One of the those lessons is “this too shall pass”.

I don’t think it comes specifically from a Bible verse, but the principle is obviously Godly. The Bible tells us that our trials are light and momentary compared to eternity (2Cor 4:17), and that life is but a whisper in time (James 4:13). Here’s some of what I’ve written so far in my “ten lessons” series:

There is one universal truth about every problem, trial, difficulty or suffering: it will eventually pass. It might be minutes, decades, or the moment you die… but it will pass.

It's seems almost too simple or too obvious to be something that can help us or give us hope. Maybe that's the beauty of it but you can ask most anyone who has some gray hairs, a little wisdom and a few notches on their "tough times" belt, and they will tell you that over time you learn to take comfort in the fact that you know instinctively: this too shall pass.

Mercifully, most things pass short term: we find a job, we reconcile our marriage, we patch up a relationship, we get medical treatment.

For those who have been more blessed to find reason to have even deeper trust in God, sometimes it takes many years, even decades for the divorce pain and turmoil to end, for the bankrupt finances to recover, for the wayward child to come home or for the disease to run its course.

At times, we must simply wait for our release from this life but in the end, it's always true: this too shall pass.

We have to think "this too shall pass" on three levels: daily, this life time, and eternity. Eternally of course, we know that all our hardships and suffering will end. Eternity seems a long way off though when you're walking through the fire today.

Most of what we would categorize as little or petty problems will simply pass after a good night's sleep.

For more significant troubles, most will pass in time; not always comforting at the moment, but as you experience this truth it becomes more real and more comforting even at the height of a difficult situation.

Fifteen years ago, when my ex-wife chose to leave our marriage and take my three children across the country to be with her and another man, "this too shall pass" seemed utter nonsense to me. I could hardly get through one day much less look a year, five years, or 20 years down the road. It was at this time that an Elder at my church, an older, very wise man, quietly told me "this too shall pass". At that time I think my reaction was probably "thanks for the nice cliché".

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Over the years and several other significant trials, I found "this too shall pass" not only to be true, but to be very comforting. I came to know from experience that the financial stress would eventually ease up, the family turmoil would resolve itself, and the anxiety at work would end up working out for the best (Romans 8:28… sound familiar?).

Of course, a more spiritual person would say "if you would just trust God then you wouldn't worry or get stressed out". I agree, a more spiritual person would know that.

However, it's me we're talking about and I'm just blessed that I learned this lesson at 43 and not 70. After divorce, business, deaths, cancer, children and a host of opportunities to learn to trust God and I can honestly say that with each new difficulty I know for a fact: this too shall pass.

What are you questions or stories about “this too shall pass”?

A question that I actually get fairly often in different forms:

Brent, where do you pastor? Where did you get your seminary training? What makes you qualified to give counseling advice about parenting, family or marriage? What are your credentials? You often make dogmatic proclamations about science, mental health, evolution, and other topics that are well supported and even proven as fact, disagreeing with the commonly held conclusions. I just wonder why you are qualified to do so.

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Yes these are questions that I get frequently as does anyone who publicly gives opinion or advice. Let me make it clear from the outset that I do not disagree with people for the sake of disagreement. I am not controversial for the love or sake of controversy. I do not particularly enjoy getting bombed verbally every time I take a stand against one of the worlds sacred cows, be it science, religion or humanism.

But let it also be known that my motivation is not popularity, acceptance or financial success. If any of those things come as a result of my efforts then it is solely because God wanted it to be that way. Conversely, if I find myself persecuted, locked out and friendless for taking a stand on the truth, and I am just as perfectly content with that.

With that preface, let me answer these questions...

I am not a pastor or a minister or an elder. Never have been. I have no seminary training. I do not have a college degree. While I do hold several certifications in different technology areas, I am primarily self-taught through both life experience and intense self-education.

I have no counseling degree. I have no professional counseling training. I have no professional training in therapy of any type. I am not considered a secular professional expert at anything that has to do with therapy, counseling, family, parenting or marriage.

I have absolutely no secular credentials when it comes to giving advice, teaching the Bible, answering Bible questions or mentoring people. Didn’t want to leave anyone with the impression I’m trying present myself as anything than what I actually am.

So what are my credentials? Why do I have the nerve to offer advice? What gives me the right to publicly disagree with mental health professionals, scientists and professional educators?

My credentials are that I have a God-given brain, a Spirit-led heart, a supernaturally inspired and divine written account of God's revealed Word to mankind, and 42 years of life experience in God's magnificent creation. I have a great wife, seven kids and have been around the block a few times, then a few more times.

I have access to every single thing that I need to know and do to live a pleasing, fulfilling and Godly life (2 Peter 1:3). As I avail myself of what God has freely made available to all Christians, I simply pass that knowledge and advice on to others.

I have everything I need to be perfectly and thoroughly equipped to lead, mentor, teach, correct and advise (2Tim 3:16-17). It is a simple process of taking hold of what God has made available to all his children and passing on that wisdom to others.

There is nothing particularly special or extraordinary about any of this. We all have access to the very same source of wisdom and if we ask for it God will give it generously. (James 1:5) God allows each of us to experience life and if we will take that and filter it through the knowledge of Scripture, the leading of the indwelled the Holy Spirit, and then ask God for the wisdom to apply it to our lives so that we can become more like Christ, we will each be in the position to mentor, lead and teach others. We already have a word for it, we just don’t do it very much: disciple.

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The credentials I have that allow me to disagree with commonly held worldly standards (ie, Darwinianism, psychology, etc.) is knowing God's revealed word. The world routinely comes to its conclusions separate and apart from God. Where those conclusions clearly disagree with what God has revealed to us, it becomes very easy to disagree. In fact it becomes our obligation to disagree. It is just a matter of whether or not we want to have the courage to do so and take the time to be able to defend our disagreement.

I'm the first one to agree that by the world standards I am completely unqualified and have absolutely zero credentials in which to prove the merit of my advice, commentary or opinion.

I am just a regular old guy with a Bible, a brain, a heart and the indwelling of the Spirit of God. That's it, that's all I got. It's up to you to decide if that's enough.