People often ask me what is "personal development". Simple, it's merely the exercise of becoming a better person on all levels.

For most, this is some vague idea that each day they are just getting "gooder". Unfortunately, human nature as it is, by default, people become more selfish, more manipulative, more deceitful as experience and knowledge makes it easier to pursue our own advantage and agenda while convincing ourselves otherwise.

To truly engage in positive personal development, we have to specifically plan. We look at the basic areas of our lives, and we set a goal or destination. That goal is then used to filter our daily choices and behavior. The major areas of life are:

• Spiritual
• Relationships
• Education
• Health
• Finance

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Do you have goals in these areas? Do you know what you want to achieve or become? Have you ever thought about it? Do you really honestly even care? You don't have to, there's no law that says you do. However, don't think you are "improving" if you simply wake up every day and react to life. You can't engage in "personal development" without specific reason or long term vision.

I'm building a simple online application that I'm going to launch soon that will allow you to track long term and short term objectives in these areas. Very simple, very easy to use. And free.

I'll let you know when it is ready... soon.

What are your questions about goals, personal development and having a long term vision about life?

The New Year is upon us.

Do you have ANY real goals for this year? Written? Specific? Measurable? Attainable? Or are you just going to "exist" through another year of regrets and "could have been's"?

I'm not talking about feel-good New Years Resolutions that won't last the first two weeks. I'm talking real live goals, an overall vision of WHY you want to accomplish, and HOW.

A personal goal, a fitness goal, a financial goal, a spiritual goal....

I have a goal to do something nice for you this week... in the next couple of days I'm going to roll out a simple and easy to use GOALS application that will be FREE and work online. A lot of Goal Setting programs are complicated, full of shiny bells and whistles that make it tedious and time consuming to use.

What people really need is a simple, concise and straight forward FAST way to enter and track goals. I'm basing my system off a proven written form version that my friend Neal uses.

You love it. Look for it within the next few days.

Here was the question:  I’m not sure what I’m doing is really the right path for me but I’m not a quitter. Do you have any thoughts?

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Never, never, never quit. Famous words…. Bad advice.

Well, sometimes bad advice… but most people spout that like it’s the golden rule of success. What should have been said, and most likely what was meant was “never quit something just because it’s hard as long as the outcome is truly beneficial”. In reality, QUITTING is a necessary skill and is an integral part of success in life, business, relationships and spiritual growth.

Good advice is this: learn WHEN to quit, and WHEN NOT to quit. Both are equally valuable skills. Most people quit because they can’t take the short term discomfort or don’t want to pay the price for the goal. That is BAD quitting. However, some people stick it out no matter what simply for the pride of not quitting even when they are headed down a dead-end street. That’s BAD not-quitting.

It Takes Courage to Know When to Quit

Maturity, courage and discernment require us to quit anything that is not going to help us reach the final worthy destination. We also must learn to recognize when the destination is not worthy of the perseverance. In either case, it takes courage to QUIT, and the longer we hold out, the more collateral damage. When we come to the realization that either the final destination is wrong, or our current effort won’t get us to a worthy destination, it takes REAL courage to quit, and quit fast. A lot of people don’t quit though because they don’t want to admit they were wrong, don’t want to endure the pain of quitting, don’t want the uncertainty of quitting, and don’t want to face other’s criticism.

We don’t have to say much about BAD quitters. It speaks for itself. Bad Quitters quit because they are lazy, undisciplined, uncommitted… it originates in all sorts of bad character flaws. You can sum up bad quitting in one phrase: unwilling to pay the price to achieve a worthy end. It’s uncomfortable, hard, “no fun”. Quitting is always wrong in this sense and the “never, never, never quit” applies.

Three Reasons To Quit

1. You realize what you are trying to achieve is either genuinely unachievable, or not worth achieving
2. Changes in circumstances make it legitimately impossible to continue or make progress
3. You are forced to compromise your integrity or relationships to achieve the result

Three Reasons NOT to Quit

1. Don’t quit because of short term difficulty or it’s just too hard
2. Don’t quit because of criticism from others or naysayers
3. Don’t quit based on feelings; make sure you have wise, objective, mature outside advice

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Or is it because of very real reasons that point to “good quitting” such as lack of real progress (and no chance to see any), a change of market conditions or personal situation?

In the end, don’t quit impulsively. Equally important, don’t do the “never, never, never quit” routine out of pride, stubbornness or ignorance. There is bad quitting, and good quitting. Real success is knowing the difference.

What are your questions for me? Leave a comment about one example you’ve had of good quitting, and one mistake you made of bad quitting.

What are the top ten things a parent should teach each child they have?

I've begun the list, but want to get your input. When the list is done (the top ten), I'll publish it on this blog.

Add your input here:

http://www.serioustopten.com/list_in_progress.asp?listid=7

The area of sexual purity, temptation and education is sorely neglected by Christians - or, we have been SO influenced by the world, we barely differ from them.

The "Every Man..." series is one of the best I've seen with several books addressing everything from teaching our kids, to dealing with sexual moral failure.

There's a book in the series for just about every group:

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• Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle: Honest Conversations About Sexual Integrity
• Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle: Creative Conversations about Sexual and Emotional Integrity
• Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation
• Every Young Woman's Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World
• Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time
• Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment

Hope that gets you started in the right direction.

What are your specific questions about sexual purity?