A person visited our blog and left a comment :

"A sick child is not your personal opportunity to use them to learn about your God!"

I won't bother talking about the fact that this person has little, if any, understand about God ("your God"?) since the downside to that is already obvious. There's so much wrong and disturbing with the comment, it’s hard to know where to start talking about it, and I hesitated even writing about it at all. But in the end, it represents a good opportunity to teach, and that’s what I do.

We didn’t ask for her to be sick SO we could learn about God.

The readers’ comment makes it sound as if we opportunistically wanted Abby to get sick so we could use her as an object lesson. At best, it sounds as if we are opportunistically using her sickness for own benefit now. Either consideration is beyond both cruel and devoid of discernment.

I choose to believe that the writer didn’t mean it that way but it leaves us with a clear lesson:

Lesson 1: When people are experiencing intense situations, be EXTRA careful with opinions and declarative statements. They will be hard to interpret and often will come across as uncaring and clueless even if you didn’t mean them to sound that way.

Lesson 2: Email and blogs allow us to say things we normally wouldn’t say if we were staring them in the face (false bravery or assertiveness). Always ask yourself “would I say this directly to them?” But you have to answer that HONESTLY.

By using ALL situations to learn, we help others, and help ourselves.

It is not only wise of Christians, but of ALL people, to use every situation to learn, grow and help others. Whether it is a joyful, sensational blessing or a crushing trial, the mature person inherently looks for what can be learned from the experience, and how that knowledge can be passed on to family, friends and observers.

The “good” in suffering is lost when it is not used to learn more about life, learn more about God and learn more about yourself. To secret away those experiences and lessons learned are to rob other people of something that could help them too.

Lesson 3: A circumstance that is not learned from, is a circumstance partially endured in vain and wasted.

Lesson 4: A lesson learned not passed on to others is first of all selfish, and secondly, degrades the value of lesson learned directly by those involved.

We insult both God and the suffering when we do not honor their suffering by examining our own lives and using what we learn and experience to help others.

We all suffer. It is a fact of life. Whether health issues, financial, relationships or “acts of God”, we all suffer. It’s not a question of “if” but “when” and “how often”. When we suffer, or someone near to us suffers, that suffering is made vain when we do not make an effort to learn from it, make an effort to grow from it, make an effort to become better people because of it and make an effort to see how that situation can be used to minister and bless others.

It has been the WORSE situations in my life that have given me the tools and experience to really help people. It is through suffering, loss, tragedy and crisis that spiritually mature people learn the great lessons of life, develop compassion for others and gain an eternal perspective.

What and insult to Abby for us to hole up and lament her illness and keep to ourselves what we learn about God as we struggle through this storm. What an insult to God to be silent about what He is teaching us and fail to proclaim publicly all the ways His hand can be seen through what is happening.

Lesson 5: our trials and suffering have meaning and purpose when we learn more about God, then teach what we’ve learned to others, and allow those lessons to transform us (more compassionate, more trusting, more caring, etc.)

Every circumstance GOOD or BAD should be an opportunity to discover God.

What is life if it is not growing, learning and discovering more about God? Nobody WANTS to suffer but it’s unavoidable. How much of the “gold” of life is left unmined when we fail to see EVERY circumstance as a chance to learn and serve?

Without doubt, there are times when people exploit suffering and tragedy. So there is a fine line of discernment, integrity and purpose between communicating for God’s glory and genuine personal growth… or communicating for selfish personal benefit or attention.

Lesson 6: every circumstance should be an opportunity to discover God, and then share that discovery for the blessing it can be to others.

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Far from being opportunistic, or “using” Abby’s situation for attention, we want her suffering to be honored by allowing it to draw others to God, teaching them to depend on Him by seeing His hand at work in her life. We want people to grow, have more faith, and have hope in THEIR difficult situation by reading about the hope we have in ours.

Of course Abby is not old enough to articulate it, but do you really think she would say “no Daddy… don’t talk about me to others. I don’t want them to be helped in any way because of what I’m going through.” Please…

Suffering is a fact. It’s how we suffer, what we learn from suffering, and then how we bless others through our suffering that is the real choice between “hopeless, useless suffering” and turning suffering into an “opportunity of life”.

Below is a list I wrote a few years ago with some of the reasons of how tough times become times of blessing. If you read this and think that using suffering as an opportunity for growth is still “opportunistic” then I am deeply sorrowful that your suffering will be without hope because of your empty view of it. For the rest of you, I hope you’ll print this list, and refer to it when your own times of trouble come. It is a great source of comfort and blessing:

1. To produce the fruit of patience Rom. 5:3; James 1:3-4; Heb. 10:36

o Through adversity Christians learn the blessing of long-suffering and delayed gratification.

2. To produce the fruit of joy Ps. 30:5; 126:5-6

o It is easy to be joyful when times are good but you have authentic rejoicing when you experience it through suffering.

3. To produce the fruit of maturity Eccles. 7:3; 1 Pet. 5:10

o Through affliction we discover the true reality of living in a sin cursed world. When we endure suffering with the attitude of Jesus Christ we are perfected, established and strengthened.

4. To produce the fruit of righteousness Heb. 12:11

o Adversity, when responded to according to God's word, will train us to be righteous and holy.

5. To silence the devil Job 1:9, 10, 20-22

o God permits suffering and when we respond to it in a Christlike manner the accusations of Satan against us will be in vain.

6. To teach us Ps. 119:67, 71

o The more we suffer the more God's word becomes real to us and the less we will stray from obeying the Lord. It then becomes a good thing that we have suffered because it has resulted in increased Godliness.

7. To purify our lives Job 23:10; Ps. 66:10-12; Isa. 1:25; 48:10; Prov. 17:3; 1 Pet. 1:7

o God tests, strengthens and purifies us through affliction. Our faith is much more precious than anything the world can offer and like pure gold it is refined in the fires of suffering.

8. To make us like Christ Heb. 12:9, 10; 1 Pet. 4:12-13; Phil. 3:10; 2 Cor. 4:7-10

o As we suffer, we come to understand and better relate to the suffering that Jesus endured on our behalf. Through persecution and affliction we are conformed into the image of Christ manifesting through our bodies a living example of Christ's sacrifice for us.

9. To glorify God Ps. 50:15; John 9:1-3; 11:1-4; 21:18-19; Phil. 1:19-20

o Every time we respond to suffering with a Godly attitude, we bring glory to God in such an unselfish manner that it directs attention solely to God, and not to us.

10. To prevent us from sinning 2 Cor. 12:7, 9-10

o God may permit us to suffer in order to keep us humble and to keep us from the sin of self-exaltation.

11. To make us confess when we do sin Judg. 10:6-7, 15-16; Ps. 32:3-5; Hos. 5:15; 6:1; 2 Chron. 15:3-4

o There will be times when God uses suffering to force us to confront our sin and confess it. Enduring the effects of a sin cursed world heightens our awareness of sin and deepens our understanding of just how truly awful sin really is.

12. To chasten us for our sin 1 Pet. 4:17

o Suffering may often times be a direct result of our own personal sin and God may be chastising us for it. Adversity motivates us to carefully examine our lives for holiness and devotion.

13. To prove our sonship Heb. 12:5-6

o Adversity is like an identification badge for the Christian. Scripture clearly says, "that whom the Lord loves He chastens". So any time that you suffer you can be sure of two things: that you belong to the Lord, and that He loves you.

14. To reveal ourselves to ourselves Job 42:6; Luke 15:18

o When the pressure is on you can be sure that what is deep down inside of a person will come boiling to the top. When you squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice. There is no way to fake what you are truly all about when you are under great stress or enduring significant adversity. You can be sure that what you are genuinely made of will surface not only for you to see but also for everyone around you to see.

15. To help our prayer life Isa. 26:16

o There is no doubt that affliction helps our prayer life. For most people greater suffering equals greater prayer.

16. To become an example to others 2 Cor. 6:4-5; 1 Thess. 1:6-7

o When we respond to adversity in a Godly manner it provides a living example for all those who observe us.

17. To qualify us as counselors Rom. 12:15; Gal. 6:2; 2 Cor. 1:3-5

o There is nothing like real-life experience to qualify you as a teacher. It is an academic exercise at best to proclaim truths that you have not lived and experienced.

18. To further the gospel witness Acts 8:1-5; 16:25-34; Phil. 1:12-13; 2 Tim. 4:6-8, 16-17

o By enduring suffering with a Godly attitude we participate in validating the power of the Gospel. When another person sees you rejoicing in the midst of affliction they can't help but wonder where you derive the power for such a response.

19. To make us more than conquerors 2 Cor. 2:14; Rom. 8:35, 37

o As God proves faithful to see us through adversity we become more and more confident about the things of God. We become increasingly victorious over sin and "more than conquerors".

20. To give us insight into God's nature Job 42:5; Rom. 8:14-15, 18

o Through suffering we know more about God and His purposes. We better understand His attributes, His nature and His sovereignty.

21. To drive us closer to God 1 Pet. 4:14; 2 Cor. 12:10

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22. To prepare us for a greater ministry 1 Kings 17-18; John 12:24

o Like the potter's clay that is worked and reworked, or the lump of dough that is kneaded until soft and blended, affliction breaks us down, makes us soft and prepares us to be used by the Lord.

23. To provide for us a reward Matt. 5:10-12; 19:27-29; Rom. 8:16-17; 2 Cor. 4:17

o It is a wondrous truth that God permits us to suffer for His glory and yet it turns out to be an incredible blessing for us, not only in this lifetime, but also through the eternal reward we will receive in Heaven.

24. To prepare us for the kingdom 2 Thess. 1:5; 2 Tim. 2:12

o Suffering prepares us for our eternal life with God. It conditions us, trains us and equips us to reign with Christ forever and ever.

25. To show God's sovereignty Rom. 8:28; 1 Cor. 10:13; Ps. 66:10-12; Gen. 45:5-8; 50:20

o The suffering Christian is a tangible demonstration of God's sovereignty, who in His infinite wisdom can take all things (good and bad) and work them together for His ultimate glory and eternal purpose.